Sunday, May 3, 2009

"GG no re"

HAI GUISE
This will be the final tat post. CC has gone to the capital, AM has gone to the land of the free and the home of the brave. Here at the quiet end of the-tat, The ocelot would like to quote a wise old sensei of his, whom he thinks you'll recognize.

"Its a rare condition, in this day and age, to read any good news on the newspaper page. Love and tradition, of the grand design, some people say are even harder to find."



"Well then there must be some magic clue, inside these gentle walls. Cause all I see is a tower of dreams. Real love bursting out of every seam."



"Days go by. We're going to fill our house with happiness. Moon may cry. We'll smother the blues with tenderness."


"As days go by, theres room for you, room for me, for gentle hearts and opportunity. As days go by, its the bigger love of the family."

GG no re

Thursday, April 30, 2009

BINGE AND PURGE

AM and I are purging out the apartment like it's Mary Kate Olsen. We faund some lol stuff! Of note: C.C.'s TIME CAPSULE from FRESHMAN YEAR!!

The contents include:

-
Old hockey games recorded onto VHS
-a "BASc first year of admission" notebook with the note "Chem midterm: review tomorrow"
-Tons of old laminated cards advertising parties!

---HERES ANOTHOER LOL THING WE FOUND---

Its a USB powered lamp. Yep. Nothing else to say except that its awesome. In case you can't tell, its the black wire thing plugged into the side of my laptop.
(PS NOTE MY BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL IN THAT PIC!)


now heres AM:

A mathematician, a physician, and a psychic walk into a bar. the Mathematician orders a triple sec with a twist, and the psychic says "No pun intended!".
POST-HUMOR AM.

HOLY SHIT look at this pic:
I AM BINGEING ON FOURTH WALLS

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

URQUELLE et ELLE, si Belle!

Laura, the magic of Disneyland has washed over me, in an awesome wave.




you are the sun the rain and the winds that flower of my soul. i love you more than life itself. will you marry me?




*GASP*



"I will"



*Crowd cheers*


see? DREAMS COME TRU. LIKE THIS ONE: the ocelot is done @ McG U. Its about fucking time! ttyl lol.
AM is done too, but his summer vacation is only two hours long (enough time to eat a pizza, then he's got to read some research papers for some bullshit computer thing. WHO CARES?
CC is still studying his little heart out.

update on CC beard-watch: CC's beard has taken on the density and texture of an SOS sponge.

omg lol

http://twitter.com/MaxTennessen

Monday, April 27, 2009

Faucet troubles :( -- PART 2 --



Yo dogs
The faucet in our bathroom is leakin worse. Now it fills a measuring cup in 4 minutes, 15 seconds. but on the plus side, AM CLEANED A MEASURING CUP! That girl who's subletting from CC is going to be in for SUCH A FUCKING ORDEAL trying to turn off the water after she washes her hands.
BY THE WAY I am living with her for a week. I am completely unprepared to live with a girl, ESPECIALLY A STRANGER.

I ASK AM IF HE HAS ANYTHING TO SAY: AM says: "nah, is it done?"

-----I will be digitally altering the photos of AM yesterday and the day before. He has cited privacy concerns. CHECK THEM OUT! (below)---

yes Lee I am blogging about it

GOT MY SPICE RACK BACK FROM LF


-Snoop bloggy blogg

PS this is AM: a (he just wrote some html, and I have no idea what it will do!
hey I see we have a second follower - welcome no!

NAU HARS ALEX WALKING TO SCHOOL

ocelot's note: at the request of the subject, I have digitally altered this photograph to protect AM's privacy. because he is a celebrity, and wants to avoid paparazzi.


and it might be the last time! because SWINE FLU has invaded our city. FUCKING PIGS. YOU KNOW WHO EYE BLAME??

So, friends, since everyone who reads this blorg now lives in a swine flu quarantine zone, please purelle and wear a face mask. If people are reading this post long after swine flu has transformed the world into zombie-pigs, then let it be known that I, THE OCELOT, did my part to save the world by raising awareness.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

HERES ALEX WALKING HOME

ocelot's note: at the request of AM, I have digitally altered this photo to protect his identity. Because he is a super-hero.



Alex is STILL unaware he was being watched! (unless of course youre reading this now, alex, in which case, go check the stove, I think your waters boiiling).

holy fuck swine flu outbreak in Nova Scotia!

Thursday, April 23, 2009


yo doggs

up in the tat we have been yoyoing like yoyo yogis. My mom gave me a yoyo like a month ago, and I plum forgot to use it! Nau its ALL WE DO. We take shifts - CC gets it on prime hours of the day (1am, 2am, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23)l AM gets it on multiples of four (4am, 8am, 12, 16, 20, 24) and I get it on multiples of 2 which are not also multiples of four, and excluding 2 itself (6am, 10am, 14, 18, 22). Its a fair system. The arrangement for the next leap-second day (Dec 31st, 2010) involves fractal algorithms.

ANYWAY WE DONT STUDY WE FUCKING YOYO

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Alisee, you're our heroin


A LADY CLEANIN OUR KITCHEN!? Its like a bizarro world.

in further cleaning/feminine related noose:

AM is vacuuming! and he seems to be having a hell of a time with it
CC just ate Kraft Dinner AND pot pies!! (but its okay because he 'skipped breakfast and lunch')
THE OCELOT is BLORGING LMFAO

PS READERSHIP
have u seen this site? www.omegle.com Its a chat room with a random stranger. Heres my convo:
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: McCain 2008
You: Country First
Stranger: RON PAUL 2008 bitch
You: PALIN 2012
You: GORE 2016
You: VANCOUVER 2010
Stranger: THE DEVIL 2020
You: POLAND 1936
You: 1939 i mean
You: BOLSHEVIEK 1927
Stranger: hell yeah
Stranger: Communism ANYTIME
You: CUBA 1959
You: BAY OF PIGZ
You: wait a minnute, "STANGER" you say RON PAUL THEN COMMUNISIM???
You: WAT IS UP
You: ??
Stranger: the communism thing was a joke
Stranger: the ron paul wasn't
You: BOB BARR 2020
Stranger: I voted bob barr 2008
You: MALIA OBAMA 2024
Stranger: haha
You: really?
You: u voted barr?
Stranger: yes
You: oh man. are you at one of those tea parties rite nau?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

LOL INTERNET BLORG

Friday, April 17, 2009

The Tat's filling up with feelings!

OUR bathroom sink FAUCET is brokin! Motherfucker filled up ASS HIGH in like an hour from just a steady drip!! WE ARE WASTING WATER LIKE CUNTS!
Common, guise, together we can save the planet! Fix your leaky faucets! Just like the bathrooms at McGill!

One other thing thats overflowing is the raw emotion in the tat.

SUSPENSE:
CC eats a new beans-based dinner every night what will it be this time? Try to guess!
ACTION: AM doesn't know what to do with himself when he doesn't need to study!
ROMANCE:
the ocelot missed an exam :( so now he's been seeing ZELDA GHAN every day!

SURPRISE! a THIRD THING is filling up in the tat!
Laura Winslow's (Kellie Shangye Williams) HOT BOD
In this scene, Steve is saving Laura from drowning. The part where she gets out of the pool is spectacular.

Physical Comedy- great comedy, or greatest comedy?

GO WITH GOD




Monday, April 13, 2009

wastin hour LIEvs

HAY ALLAH U READERZ;

LOOK AT THIS
Laura's haircut in the sexth season of Familah Matters :


IS IT THE SAME AS "jane" (from the beavis and butthead spinoff "Daria")?

N>E>WAY get the fcuk back to studying! AM puts in eight hours a day at his lab, colon I assume is working, and so should you be, but THE OCELOT CANNOT BE TAMED.

[[ALSO SHOOT-OUT 2 MAYA, who helps me with my sin tax

(and for whom I made this three years ago!)]]

Saturday, April 11, 2009

DOG BLOG

Study night in the tat. AM is home after a long lab day - he's makin dogs (pictured above). The Ocelot had curry for dinner, and Colin had Punjabi mix. What the fuck is punjabi mix? Basically dry peas and crackers.

props to Colin, who came up with the title of this post.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Arise! For culture!

"Il n’y a que deux chemins possibles : le chemin de la dĆ©pendance fiscale, de la
dépendance financière, de la dépendance au pétrole ou le chemin de
l’indĆ©pendance fiscale, de l’indĆ©pendance financiĆØre, de l’indĆ©pendance face au
pĆ©trole. Le seul chemin de l’indĆ©pendance, c’est le chemin de la souverainetĆ© du
QuƩbec.
Merci. MOTHAFUCKAH"

I was hangin out with the landlord (Sonia) today, she was smokin a cigarette outside the door. Some french kid walked by with a signpost he had apparently pulled off a building or something. He hit it against a fire hydrant, and yelled "Declenchez la rage! Release your anger!". In spite of this suggestion, neither Sonia nor I made any obvious move to release our angers or to declench them.

ps some rez kids came and looked at the 'tat today. Sonia said "dont worry it will be clean when you get it. Spic and Span".

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

our time















The guys down at the locker room were pretty surprised to learn that Eddie (The E-Man) Winslow is a virgin!

But in the end, we realized that girls aren't points on a scorecard.














Needless to say, the Peurto Rican kid (whose character doesn't have a name) lost a lot of our respect. Maybe we all learned something from Steve, Eddie and the gang.

Sometimes the ups and downs of Urkle and the Winslow family every weekday at 4:30 makes me feel that... family matters.


FAMILA MATTRESS IS MILLAH BROYET PODUKSHUN. AN' IS DISTRABUTED BAH -- LORIMAH DOMESTK TELEVZN DISTRIBUSHUN!!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

shaut aut

TAT FAKTZ:
-Colin got food poisoned by Place Milton; Hes vommin and has like ten ginger-ales and gatorades in the fridge. He opened the cap to let it go flat - as per his mom's instructions. Colin's mom JC, I hope to meet you one day. N_E_WAI LET DIS BEE A WARNING 4 U: PLACE MILTON IS FULLA MORE THAN JUST HUNG OVER STUDENTS AND GAY MEN: IS FULLA DISEASE!
-Alex beat me at NHL 3 on 3 arcade (4-5). and ladies; HES SINGLE LIKE A SLICE OF KRAFT CHEESE (which the french call "fromage american")
-The Ocelot is spending his exam study time watching TV and playing "video"-games as usual. FUCK MED SKUL

-----also:---

YO DOGS
Some cool guy makes videos about comic book characters and posts them on youtube. THIS MAY OR MAY NOT INTEREST U. BUt seriously check out his youtube profile in about a month to see an incredible rap-music video,

Friday, April 3, 2009

BROOMISCOPE

DA BROOMISCOPE. This is how we do!
To resolve the mystery of the cigarette butt, we decided to investigate our upstairs neighbors. We made this device. It is a camera taped to a broomhandle. This morning I turned its self timer on and held it up to the balcony above us.

THE RESULTS?

Our neighbors have NO SIGARET BUTS on their balcony! Also they wear sandals. Now that I have ruled out one neighbor, I conclude that it is either Alex or Colin who smokes. I'm thinking Colin. FUCK YOU COLIN -YOU"RE STILL IN FUCKING BED WAKE THE FUCK UP also hi alisse

Thursday, April 2, 2009

THE METAMORPHOSIS

"When Gregor Samsa woke up one morning from unsettling dreams, he found himself changed in his bed into a monstrous vermin." - Franz Kafka

The recycling has been weighing heavy on my mind. This is it:



















Boxes of Special K, tomato soup cans: its like a graveyard of yesterday's meals.
IM BEGINNING TO SEE RECYCLING EVERYWHERE
We see each other as milk cartons and old beer bottles.
Today, A , C and I took all the recycling down to the garage. A guy looked at use weird in the elevator. OUR LIVING ROOM IS BACK FROM THE DEAD.

but 4 how long???

theres a box of eggos in the freezer thats going to be empty soon.
..

THE MASTERY OF THESE GARETTE BUTT

RE-CONTINUES...


















people of earth:
ANOTHER smoke has found its way onto our balcony. The masterious part: its a different brand again! Its a Belmont. the last one was Pall Malls, and before that, something with an orange filter.

We have since begun construction on what I call the Broomiscope (MOORE ON THIS LATER - stay tuned!). This may reveal critical informations.

IN OTHER NOOSE
The Ocelot has been practicing his dipthongs; AM has been programming; CC has been writing economics papers. WHAT HA VIEW BIN DUNE?

PS: If Chris W. reads this blorg, he will be happy to see that the bottle of Malibu is still there.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Alex is a Hacker

'Sup bitches

In light of recent allegations about Julia Styles, we decided to do our research. BECAUSE SOMEONE U NO MAY BE A HACKER

Take the test:
http://www.adequacy.org/public/stories/2001.12.2.42056.2147.html

1. Has your son asked you to change ISPs?
2. Are you finding programs on your computer that you don't remember installing?
3. Has your child asked for new hardware?
4. Does your child read hacking manuals?
5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day?
6. Does your son use Quake?
7. Is your son becoming argumentative and surly in his social behaviour?
8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?
9. Has your son radically changed his appearance?
10. Is your son struggling academically?


AM is TOTALLY obsessed with "Lunix"

Julia Styles is a Hacker



'Sup bitches,

check it out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7tazcxWUwk










quote of the day: "Social media is like teen sex... Everyone wants to do it. No one actually knows how. When finally done, there is surprise it's not better."

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

eye one a coughy




THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE. I am going to look the lady at tim hortons in the eye and be all one large coughy with milk pleze

Fun fax: Alex won a coughy too, but never claimed it. He says its a slippery slope towards communism. -- COMMUNISM!! --

Monday, March 30, 2009

URQUELLE MA BELLE - IN A NUTSHELLE

Today I'm beginning a weekly 'segment' on the-tat.blogspot.com. Its called "Urquelle" and is loosley based on the philosophy and wit of the infamous genetically-engineered (and later cloned) pretty-boy, Stephan Urquelle of Family Matters.


"When I find myself burdened by the troubles of the world, I try to cheer myself up by thinking about all the wonderful clothes I own"
- Stephan Urkelle, Family Matters Season 5 Episode 8
Stephan gave us this gem when Laura accused him of being materialistic and vain. I believe the Steve Urkel/Stephan Urkelle dichotomy is meant to represent homosexuals in the 1990s. Evidence: Steve tries to find a new identity for himself, and once he does, he finds he fails to win Laura's love even worse than before. I think perhaps Joƫlle Bedneuald said it best in the most recent McGill Daily:

"identity politics is part and parcel of the neoliberal moment in that both ideologies place individual identities over collective solidarities; this deviates our energies away from working toward a concrete understanding of systems of oppression"

(Wow, No', you've associated yourself with some real winners)

YOR THOTS?

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Breakfast Library Saturday


Its thyme to be studyin for exams! Stop reading my blorg!
Go study!
Remember, whenever you're watching TV or eating breakfast or taking your dog for a walk or blogging, ASIANS are studying hard to take your place in grad/med/law school or jobs. CASE IN POINT: since I started writing this post, two asians have occupied those empty seats.

FUN FAX
Green eggs and ham by Dr Seuss contains only one multi-syllabic word: "anywhere". It occurs eight times.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

F.L.A.C.= For Losers and Audio Chumps



Alex and I did the second of two experiments today; we played the same song twice in a row, but in mp3 and FLAC (free lossless audio codec). Both times Alex (A music technology student) was unable to tell the difference between the two formats. FLAC is supposed to be noticeably cleaner then mp3, and as a result it takes up about four times as much space.

We used Modest Mouse and Sigur Ros to test.

Incidentally, Alex dislikes both of those bands. BUT THIS IS NOT A MUZIK BLORG SO IF U WANT WON OF THOSE GO HERE
www.whereisjoe.blogspot.com
Joe, if you're reading this, Alex Colin and I all wish you the best - wherever u r

The MYST UREA THE CIGARETTE BUTTE

continues!


OK GUISE SERIOUSLY WAT IS GOING ON HAR?

another cigarette on the balcony. Nau this is a different one from before - not that the filter is not colored, but rather white. We have also been able to rule out Alisse as the smoker, since she has not been here recently.

SO I AXE U

Hau to catch a smoker? Well the ocelot still has some tricks up his sleeve. He can't say what they is, because Alex and C0l1n would get wise to him. BUT WE WILL SEE IF THE BIRD CATCHES THE WORM

Friday, March 20, 2009

FAUNA IN DA SAUNA


Sup bitches

Alex, Colin and I are ten kinds of relaxed, since we just had an HELL OF sauna and pool. We just punched in the access code - 235 (o shit I hope homeless people don't read this blog).

Now Natalie, - and I KNOW U READ THIS BLORG - we agreed that you should have been in there too, but that you would have found it awkward.

DAS IST GOOD 'TAT!

BEER DRAWER





Vegetables? HOPS AND BARELY BITCHES! (and uh - yeast?) We got beer in da crisper, and we dont care WHO knows it. Other newz: Colin has a big presentation on microsoft today! DONT FAIL COLON lol

(ALSO HAPPY WORLD WATER DAY) -

Tuesday, March 17, 2009




COLIN IS DRINKING HOT DR PEPPER FOR BREAKFAST. Loyal tat readership (and Peter) may remember a similar event back in the winter, after a Jock Jam game:





So I ask you, "readership"; which is better: HOT BEER or HOT DR PEPPER????


THE MYSTERI OF THE CIGARETTE BUTT

Who is smoking on our balcony? Is it CC, who is known to have cigars on occasion? Is it The Ocelot, who has no regard for health or hygiene? Or chronically stressed AM who needs to suck ash to calm his nerves?

STAY TUNED FOR FURTHER DEVELOPMENTS: in...

THE MISTERY OF THE SIGARET BUT


SOME FOOL BE SMOKIN OUT DA WINDOW

Sunday, March 15, 2009

NOT SO QUIET RIOT




SHIT SON ITS DON OF THE DEAD! a horde of snarling ragged zombies shuffling up sherbrooke street! Oh wait its french protesters :(. Of note:
-lots of "Fuck la police"
-we saw people graffitiing "fuck la police" (Translation: "Fuck the police")
-they pushed a dumpster out into an intersection to block traffic
-they lit a garbage can on fire and put in in the middle of the Sherbrooke/St Laurent intersection. (the fire department put it out)
-there were definitely homeless people among them
-there were police choppers circling
-after they passed us, a minivan and an armoured truck full of riot-gear police with helmets and everything sped by. My guess is at that point they would have been about at Sherbrooke and University. Maybe some shit went down there- I should have stayed at the library to see!

also colin and alisse: [I]Dr Pepper???[/I] DAMN THATS VINTAGE

Saturday, March 14, 2009





HAY GUISE
wondering hau my clan match went? We won! But it wasn't a really fair fight, the other team didn't have a full squad. At one point I think it was 6 on 4. (Coming from J. Jam, we know how that is amirite!)



Today was a big day for house competition, the usual hockey-favorite Colon was TROUNCED in round-robins of 3 on 3 NHL arcade. First The Ocelot came back from a loss to take the first round, with an exciting 4-1 win over AM. Then AM made off with the second round, not losing a single match. Colon expressed his admiration.

Pictured above is the new score sheet above the oven. All events will be recorded there from now on!